Archive for the ‘BrittanyH’ Category

I Am Me.

Posted: June 2, 2011 by brittany1795 in BrittanyH

I am silly and unique.

I am loving and caring.

I care for people who don’t care for me.

I love people who hate me.

I’m unique; I’m not like anyone else.

I’m my own person.

I’m silly, doing things to make  me feel free to be myself.

I’m all these things, but I”m also tears and broken-hearted.

Sometimes I care too much, not wanting to hurt anyone.I don’t want people to hurt.

No one deserves to be talked down to.

I’m too loving, I fall too easily for the people who step back and watch me bust on the concrete, breaking every particle of me because they didn’t catch me.

Yes, I’m silly and unique, loving and caring, but there’s more behind this smile,

there’s something no one will ever see.

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Unforgettable Moments.

Posted: June 1, 2011 by brittany1795 in BrittanyH

The air felt crisp against my skin…and I start to run.

I pass the places I shared with you- the church, your grandparent’s house, and the swing you pushed me on.

I run alongside the creek where we used to talk and throw rocks in and where you used to hold me upside down and act like you were going to throw me in.

But I know you’d never hurt me.

I run to the tree where we’d talk after church, and I stand there and hear the whispers of our forgotten love.

I wish I could take these moments and put them away and forget them, but I cant….they’re unforgettable.

More Than It Seems.

Posted: June 1, 2011 by brittany1795 in BrittanyH

“It’s just that tree.” they say,

But it’s more than that.

It’s really a friend,

something you can whisper your darkest secrets to.

It’s a giver of hope

when it blooms in the spring.

It’s a protector,

holding you up with its strong branches and roots.

It’s a counselor,

holding your tears and sending them into the air, releasing your pain with each teardrop.

It whispers advice into the wind,

giving you hope that everything will be okay.

Lessons Learned.

Posted: June 1, 2011 by brittany1795 in BrittanyH

Be yourself,

care for others,

be brave when everything is going wrong.

Be strong when you want to become weak,

don’t cry when everyone is watching, always wear a smile.

Trust no one but yourself.

Don’t give up on your dreams.

play with dolls,

tease Daddy.

Be a friend to everyone,

sing so loud it reaches the sky

open yuor eyes to the beauty that is beyond long legs and perfect hair…to the beauty that is only yours.

And, after the end of the day…

feel like you’ve accomplished something,

that someone saw the real you,

and that you made the best of the day you had been given.

The Place That Made Me.

Posted: March 8, 2011 by brittany1795 in BrittanyH

If you take a right at the fork in the road, you will find the people and the place that made me who I am. You’ll see the smooth roads that held me as I learned to ride my bike. You will see the tree that my best friends and I used to climb and sit in and talk until the church dinner was over. You’d see the mountain behind my house that I used to climb and sing  on when I was little. You’d sight the “garden” at my cousin’s house where we’ve played endless games of softball. You’d see me with my family outside playing in grandma’s backyard if it was a Sunday. You’d see my life.

They Think I Don’t Know.

Posted: March 8, 2011 by brittany1795 in BrittanyH

I lay in bed as the stars shine their brightest. Tears of past nights stain my pillow. I start thinking of the good times I had when I was little. So innocent, so happy, so honest. Now, when I think of these happy days I get a mixture of angry and sad feelings. Angry because I know now that they lied to me, sad because I wish things were still the same. When I could think that everything my family told me was true. I see these families on the streets, and you can see how happy they are. But, I’m by myself, an island in the ocean of my “family.” My heart is a broken organ, worn out and cracked from years of hurt. From years of confusion, my brain is overwhelmed. They think I don’t know what my real dad stands for, what he’s like. But, I do. I know all about the sugar-coating he places on everything. He knows how to get me to believe his lies, how to appeal to my young stupid self. How to make me believe everything’s going to be better.

Irreplacable.

Posted: March 7, 2011 by brittany1795 in BrittanyH

Her happy face is replaced with the image of her bluish-purple tinted face, with a trace of drool spilling from her mouth and sliding down her cheek. Her cheers and words of encouragement are replaced by our cries and screams, and the wails of the sirens.

This beautiful day, sunshiney with no clouds is replaced by a thundercloud, with lightning separating us from her, the thunder shaking our hearts, causing them to break.

The bats and helmets in our hands are replaced with our friends,  my cousins, her daughters. The rain comes down as tears out onto our softball uniforms.

The triumphant feeling of us beating the other team is replaced with grief and quietness as we hold each other at her casket, each shakingly signing a softball placed in with her body, once alive and beautiful, now cold and lifeless. Death has made her ugly. As our team goes on with life, each going our own way, we’ll all stay connected with the thing that we weren’t ready for…the thing that’s irreplaceable.