please don’t forget

Footsteps in the shadow of memory
I’ll lay awake these nights and dwell
my restless heart craves your spells;
your face became my constant melody,
and your scent became my personal drug
although this love will be weary and old
You will see the gift within my soul,
and until the day you’ll taint my lips once more,
I’ll draw these pictures for you to hold

kc-
3/26/14

 

that’s the thing about your love
it draws me in, but pushes me out
leaving me in the reflection of water
waiting for your return
simply so I can tell you
the beauty of your soul
has captured me in ways
that have given me no choice
but to sink into you
as if  I were not
drowning

kc-
5/28/14

 

My lungs full with you,
I taste smoke against your lips
The sun beginning to rise,
and I feel as if we’d never slept
Your breath was steady and slow,
You’re voice mellifluous and soft
I felt your fingers entangle my hair,
and love entangle our hearts

purgatory

The smell of silence is so old;
it smells of withered hearts and empty souls
floating about, reckless and alone
waiting for a loved one to call them home

Their dreary eyes  search for hope,
and their hearts reach out to those who mope
they’ll seek, they’ll cry, they’ll call out for help
they’re stuck in a labyrinth, never to get out

your whispers

You have seen me in defeat
and continued to tell me
to stay strong,
because I am youthful

You have seen me at my worst,
with mascara stained cheeks
and continued to tell me
to keep smiling
because I am beautiful

You have noticed my emptiness,
the kind that keeps you up at 4am
and told me that everything
would be okay
because I am intelligent

This is for the beautiful soul
that held my hand through the storms,
that dove deep into the raging sea,
that became my stability,
my peaceful reality,
whenever a piece of me
had broken
and fell

~

But now, when I’m sad,
where will I go?
You’ve cut all ties,
and pushed me away, slowly
My oblivion obvious
while you slowly left
my heart, my mind, my presence,
and left me to tear apart
what bit of happiness
is left of my
aching
soul

gone

I focused on that sound
held onto it, clung to it
as if it were the very thing
helping me swallow back
these uneasy tears
patiently waiting to be alone,
to cry out, to misunderstand
she walked out of the room,
and my door slammed shut
from the force of my anger
leaving me to dwell in silence
listening to the pitter-patter of rain
falling almost as fast
as my broken-hearted tears

July reminiscences

Dad and I sat downstairs in the damp smelling room while the neighbors casually worked to carry my aunt’s bedroom set down the 16 steps I’d counted time and time again. Dad looked at me nervously while I scrolled through myspace as if it were actually interesting. A beautiful melody escaped from behind the rocking chair. I looked back to find my father strumming ever so carelessly. I shut my laptop and scooted out of the leather chair, hoping he wouldn’t notice my sudden interest. My dad was always the kind of beautiful that everyone enjoyed to look at and appreciate. “Coldplay,” the hidden smile behind his long hair whispered. I smiled goofily at him while my mother danced down the stairs; she ran over to me and grabbed my hand, pulling me off of the hard concrete ground. It began, the deep humming my father exposed and the high pitch bells from my mom. “He played this for me when we had nothing to worry about,” she danced around me.

That’s how I want to remember my parents.
Genuinely happy and in love.
So I smiled.

dehydration

eyes blue, like the raging sea
further out, the darker they will be
their passion, their love, their child-like features
give it all to me, but only in small doses
gradually increase, but never overdo it
give me enough, but never too little
swallow me whole, put me through your shallows
then drown me in defeat, like your lovesick child

Hopeless but hoping

I wonder about silly things,
like if birds like to fly or if they’d rather swim.
I hear confused people,
always being quickest to judge.
I see what people want me to see,
because they’re never who they seem to be.
I want things to be simple sometimes,
but then I miss the complications

I pretend most people aren’t really there,
because sometimes, that’s the only way to be content.
I feel like everyone’s lost puppies,
looking for their owner, or a sense of direction.
I touch the books that’s been left behind,
containing a story that I will spend hours reading
I worry that one day we’ll all be forgotten,
then I remember that’s how it’ll be for everyone
I cry because the only person that understood,
isn’t here to tell me it’s okay

I understand you get what you give
I say hopeless but hoping
I dream about making a difference
I try to help as much as I can,
because I know how it feels to think you’re alone
I hope that one day I could save a life,
just like someone saved mine
and if I am not yet strong enough to do so
I will die trying.

Looking Back

I remember believing in the toothfairy,
because mom always liked us best that way
I remember busting my mouth on the coffee table chasing my brother,
in the same little house that is now my home
I remember being excited for my first day of school,
because I wanted to be just like my bubby
I remember smelling dirt and fresh cut grass after school,
because I couldn’t count the times I’d fallen during cheer practice
I remember watching my mommy  cry whenever things I never understood happened,
then trying to cheer her up by singing a song too mature for my voice
I remember going into the big doctor’s office,
and being scared at what they told me was my baby sister on TV
I remember my daddy being my superhero whenever he’d carry me to my bed,
because we all tried to stay awake past our bed time
I remember complaining to my parents during the rides from NC to WV,
because what was 5 hours really felt like twelve
I remember dancing on a pool table with Shelbee,
because Hannah Montana knew how to get us moving
I remember being afraid to see my goofball of a father on May 22nd,
because I knew what was laying there no longer contained the soul I loved so much
I remember twisting my hair constantly in class,
later coming home to mommy asking her to brush it out
I remember jumping around in my room like a rock star,
because my little sister laughed at me like I really was
I remember getting mad when people were mean to her,
and I remember the girl crying when I hit her for hurting her feelings
I remember fake sleeping until my mommy and daddy would come in my room,
because I liked the way they kissed me in my sleep

I remember being young and careless,
because young and careless was all we were allowed to be