Archive for the ‘CierraB’ Category

Thoughts of You.

Posted: December 3, 2010 by cierrabee in CierraB

We sit there in class,

listening to the teacher teach things we’ll never have to know in the outside world.

I don’t even hear her, all I can see or hear, or even think about is you.

You’re on my mind constantly, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I love, love, love you more than words can say.

I love you over the rainbow, past the moon and Pluto, to the Milky Way and back a billion times and more.

When I’m right beside of you, I feel like I’m right where I need to be.

And here you are, beside of me, making me feel like I’m on Cloud 9, like I’m soaring to somewhere unknown.

I can just imagine us in perfect harmony.

And I wonder if you feel the same way.

Love is Dead.

Posted: December 3, 2010 by cierrabee in CierraB

He walks these streets ignorant, desperate for what he needs, what he craves.

Lace, a cheap pack of cigarettes, and one long night is all he needs.

And tomorrow, he’ll just move onto the next one.

But I, on the other hand, am like God watching over only him.

I watch as one thing leads to another.

And when he’s finished, he looks out his window making sure that noone, not even I am looking at him.

I turn my head in disgust. My stomach feels as if it is fifty pounds.

I come out of hiding, and nothing is holding me back. I can feel the trigger beneath my finger.

I open the door, and fire. I pull her out into the snow.

And while he’s scrambling to get his clothes back on, I’m laughing at the sight of her bleeding.

Then I turn to him and kill him too.

I get in the car and lay my head on his chest.

I hear nothing.

I feel nothing.

Tonight, we both die. I put the trigger to my head.

And pull.

How to Kill a Heart.

Posted: December 2, 2010 by cierrabee in CierraB


in a field full of chaos and disaster is where I lay, screaming for help.

I’ve been waiting for so long to hear the sirens to come and take me away.

No one can save me from this.

My heart is black and cold, and I watched as you ripped it and threw it on the ground, stomping on it, killing it like a cockroach.

And there it lay, before me, out of reach.

Melted and dead, never to feel life again.

And here I lay, cold, pale, and with no heart.

Just the memories of you, the one who was supposed to be my “forever”

In My Blood.

Posted: December 2, 2010 by cierrabee in CierraB

I back up way in the dark corner, choking on the words this demon inside of me is screaming out.

Lies, Lies, Lies.

My heart is shot, and my blood runs black.

HATE is pouring in, and I can feel the rage.

You sicken me, and fill my mind with nothing but anger.

You are putrid, horrifying, and disgusting.

You are my demon, running through my veins like a disease.

Get Out. Don’t you know that I hate you? I hate you with every inch of me.

So I lay in this corner shaking violently. My heart is skipping beats, and tears pour out of my eyes.

Looking at death in the face, I begin to slip under the surface deeper and deeper, I’ll never see the light of day again.

You don’t even care. No one cares. Why would anyone care about me?


Posted: December 1, 2010 by cierrabee in CierraB

I lurk in the dark shadows of his room.

The room where so many shattered memories took place.

And I am a lost, broken soul.

Floating above him, watching him sleep, meddling in his dreams while he lays next to her.

Yes, the next one.

Then I go back to that nightmare, the last moments I remember of my life.

The overwhelming wall of frustration that crumbled on top of me.

The blood dripping from my hands, and the sound of the chair as I kicked it away.

And it was all because of him.

Living life the way I did wasn’t worth living at all.

So I ended it, leaving our daughter, and many loved ones behind.

So thanks for the good memories we had together. I enjoyed them all.

Now I hope you burn like I am for breathing.

The Truth Hurts.

Posted: December 1, 2010 by cierrabee in CierraB

Look at her.

She is so ugly, she looks like she’s been beat with an ugly stick.

She wears makeup because she thinks it makes her look pretty, but she’s really not.

She has a baby by James, so she does nothing but lay on her back.

She can’t love anyone, because James thinks she is his personal property.

And she believes it’s true, because it is said so much to her.

It’s been said to her all of her life.

So I sit in the corner and cry,

because I am ugly.

And don’t deserve to breathe.


Posted: October 6, 2010 by cierrabee in CierraB

He knows I exists now. He only smiled.

I haven’t figured out if it will turn out good or bad.

I pass him carefully in the hallway, making sure he doesn’t know I’m looking.

He has the softest blue eyes. He’s from a totally different world than mine.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll talk to him. Maybe I wont.

I ask myself the same question every morning. And come up blank.

And then it comes to me. He wont ever like someone like…

Haylee Elysse

Posted: September 15, 2010 by cierrabee in CierraB

I remember the moment I found out I was pregnant. All kinds of emotions dashed through my head at a billion miles an hour. I crawled in the corner, scared to death of what my mom would say. How would I begin to tell her?

That happened over the phone. There was no way I was going to tell my mom in person. She was VERY upset with me. She expected more out of me. She and I both knew that there was no turning back.

August, September, October 19. Its a girl! Haylee Elysse will be her name, due February 13, 2010. A Valentines baby.

A few hard breathless nights and pass outs later came February 4th.

Contractions aren’t the most pleasant things to wake up to, especially when they start at 3:30 in the morning. I was staying at my uncle’s house, and we were moving. Perfect timing for a baby, huh?

I spent all that morning screaming on the phone at people because I couldn’t find out where James was. Turns out he was in the emergency room because of an allergic reaction. I knew he did it just to get out of school. He finally went upstairs and held my hand every second until…

4:04 pm. Haylee Elysse is born. 34 minutes of pushing my guts out, almost 14 hours of hard contractions and sweat payed off. I have a little girl! When I held her for the very first time I didn’t know how to feel. I was so tired I couldn’t think of anything but “Look at her hair!” I looked into her eyes, and I had never seen anything so perfect.


Posted: September 14, 2010 by cierrabee in CierraB

For five years he was missing. It seemed almost impossible to track him down. If he was dead, I wouldn’t have even had a clue.

It was winter time, I was pregnant, ready to die from all the extra weight I was carrying. My mom told me she talked to his aunt and told me exactly where he was. Thank God, I found him!

In April he came back, the same person I knew that left came back and never changed a bit. 🙂 It was just like old times, playing basketball, eating until we fell over, playing video games will we couldn’t stay awake any longer. For a week, everything went back to normal. He left on Easter, and I honestly don’t think I have ever cried that much over seeing someone leave.  He helped me get over all the pain I had felt for the longest time.

Now hes gone again. Who knows? Maybe for another five years. I let him slip through my fingers once more.

Letting Go

Posted: September 14, 2010 by cierrabee in CierraB

It’s hard letting go of someone that was loved so much. It’s hard to picture what it would be like without that person, or even what someone would do next when they’re gone.

I remember when the towers burnt to the ground, killing thousands of people and hurting many more loved ones. I remember when I came home from school, not really knowing what was going on. What kid did? I was only seven. I remember when my grandpa came in from work, he had my grandma record what happened that day. He sat down and watched it. He cried when he seen what happened.

All that evening, he was quiet. He didnt even make a noise. The only constructive thing he did was drink about 5 cups of coffee. Then I went home, and before I left I told him goodnight. He told me goodnight and that hed see me tomorrow.

I didn’t see him the next day. He had a massive heart attack and died right where he was standing. He couldnt fly nowhere because all flights were grounded from the day before. And maybe, just maybe if the terrorists of 9-11 would have waited a couple days, hed still be here with me today.

When I found out he died, my whole world came tumbling down. I couldnt understand, how did he die? He didnt even seem sick to me. But what else could I do? I had to let go. Letting go of someone who was so close to you is painful, but life moves on. I know my grandma did.

About Me

Posted: September 13, 2010 by cierrabee in CierraB

-I’m Cierra, born June 11th, 1994. I have a daughter, Haylee Elysse, shes seven months old. My daughter is my world, the air I breathe. I love to laugh and make people laugh! 🙂 I have many friends and many enemies. I keep my friends close and me enemies CLOSER. I love to eat anything from spaghetti to marshmallows and nutella. I currently live in Wilkinson, on Cooks Hill. I hate it there, there is way too many trees. But I have learned in the last year: Life is VERY unfair. and I’ve accepted that.