Archive for the ‘ShelbeeB’ Category

dreams.

Posted: June 2, 2014 by shelbeebalentine in ShelbeeB

while I’m dreaming I journey with no path into the unknown.

where I sip the tears I could no longer hold.

I saw the dagger, sitting, taunting me.

I stand and watch the rain drench my naked soul.

the sound of my own shame is enough to make me go crazy.

what happened to my youthful mind?

it’s bewildering the person I’ve become,

or at least to some at first.

I gave a testimony that was brutally ripped from my chest.

I listen to songs that have been sucked out of my wounds.

I’ve always been told

dreams come to true.

but dreams are nightmares too.

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Posted: June 2, 2014 by shelbeebalentine in ShelbeeB

love by nature exacts a pain, can you love without pain?

many late nights without hope.

I waited for you, in deep unexplored oceans.

I searched without finding.

I crumble at the darkness of old times.

because I forgave you, yes, for everything.

things I refuse to remember eat away at me, slowly.

and it’s like I didn’t mind because I’d rather feel pain than nothing at all.

numbness scares me.

and now, I am numb to you.

and refuse to stand in the cool blue.

I never knew.

Posted: June 2, 2014 by shelbeebalentine in ShelbeeB

At the age of two when I wrote scribbles or everything backwards

I never knew that writing would soon

overwhelm me and the only way I knew to cope.

I never knew when I was sitting on the reading rug,

innocent in the 1st grade,

surrounded by my peers in a tight little circle

that thus would be where my mind wondered

and what my heart craved.

I was infatuated with the power of words, how they could take you anywhere.

 

 

I never thought there would be a day where I would

Give up my “T.V time” to write a story,

that I would on be rewarded a ribbon for,

but to me that ribbon was like gold.

Showing that my writing was worth something, showing somebody that I was going to be something.

 

Or that my heart would throb the way it did

Whenever it was my turn to go up to the treasure  chest

for finishing a chapter, or noticing a new vocabulary word.

the whole class would stare, and I was the star for those five seconds.

 

I never knew the impact literature would have on my life, but it’s who I am and simply what I do. Writing is me. Beautiful, creative me!

My parents always wanted.

Posted: May 30, 2014 by shelbeebalentine in ShelbeeB

A craving I couldn’t feed.

More for me than they had received.

But they knew they were loved,

I guess their mind wasn’t able to wrap itself around that.

They never knew that I needed nothing but them.

I wanted to know that they were okay.

And that for once my love was enough,

that is what my body ached for.

 

But like the tide they come and go; unable to stay with me for long.

And I just watch.

As the deep dark ocean just swallows them.

I am numb to the pain, not really able to let people in.

 

My parents always wanted what I thought I was.

the pain of being alone has now turned to strive.

I used to lay awake.

with the burden that I wasn’t enough.

but that is it past now.

are you happy now, now that you can’t make me cry?

Posted: October 23, 2013 by shelbeebalentine in ShelbeeB

What does it take to win?

My blood, sweat, and tears rest on the mat.

My sweaty hands grasp the wall when I’ve finally finished running walls.

My knees hit the floor, again. But I will stop at nothing.

I want to win.

I spend six days a week training that way when the day comes, I will not be weak.

I will wrap every body part if that’s what it takes to do my job.

I stretch so hard, trying to get my legs to my head.

Being talented won’t win, your heart has to be out on the floor.

Not just on that day, but everyday leading up to it.

You won’t be perfect, there’s going to be days that you fall.

But, if you want to win it all you’ll get back up and stand tall.

You aren’t going to die, although sometimes it may feel like it.

But the extra thirty minutes you put will all be worth it.

You win as a team, or die as a team.

State Champion

Posted: October 23, 2013 by shelbeebalentine in ShelbeeB

I am going to be a state champion.

I wonder how it feels to be the best.

I hear the crowd cheer when we hit the last motion.

I see my family in the crowd, amazed by our perfection.

I want to see my coach and seniors with a state title.

I pretend that my heart isn’t racing.

I feel my feet hit the floor when my pass ends with a solid landing.

I touch my ring and realize that all the work this year really has paid off.

I worry about nothing, I’ve reached my goal.

I cry from joy, because we really did it. Logan is the best again..

I am going to be a state champion.

I understand that nothing comes easy, and the pain was worth it.

I say 2013 is the year of the cat.

I dream of winning again next year.

I try to continue to give 110&% everyday.

I hope we have made Logan proud.

I am going to be a state champion.