Archive for the ‘TannerA’ Category

Just Another Post

Posted: June 2, 2011 by lhsadkins in TannerA

I sit here

Slowly, ignorantly thinking of pathetic things to jot down on this keyboard.

Things pass through

But nothing seems significant enough to explain.

Nothing seems satisfying to me.

Trying to get rid of the obvious fact that I hate many things.

Things continue to float through

Like a leaf, that has just fell in the fall.

When does it land?

Where does it land?

Why does it land?

Does it even land?

Its unexplainable.

Is this even a poem?

or am I just simply typing things on a keyboard.

Still, unexplainable.

Are you sure you do things the “right” way?

Or is it “your” way.

Still, unexplainable.

To be yourself

Posted: June 2, 2011 by lhsadkins in TannerA

To be yourself, means to ignore the insignificant opinions

of the pathetic student body.

To be yourself, means to stand firm for what you believe

and refuse to let anyone else control you.

To be yourself, means to say whats on your mind

and to be completely content with it.

To be yourself, means to set goals

and achieve them on a daily basis, as if it were a routine.

To be yourself, believe it or not, is a difficult thing to do.

To be someone your not, just to get the attention of the crowd

happens with ease.

Be yourself.

Mamaw

Posted: June 2, 2011 by lhsadkins in TannerA

I remember..We painted seashells

All different colors, all different shells.

The disturbing smell of your addiction,

Rushing up my nose with no hesitation.

Combined with the arousing smell of your air fresheners.

Obviously so people couldnt smell the cigarettes.

Same smell every visit.

I promised myself I wouldnt miss that smell

Now, I wish I could smell that same, terrible scent.

I never see the sight of your complexion,

I never get to “beat” you at monoply anymore,

Where did it all go?

You call me from time to time, checking up on me.

Asking if im ok, as you sip on a fourth.

My intentions are to explain how i really feel,

How the sorrow swiftly travels through every single inch of my pathetic body.

As if it were blood, moving through my veins.

But i fear your reply

Your explanation for everything.

I blame myself.

Secrets

Posted: June 1, 2011 by lhsadkins in TannerA

The action of causing insanity

which occurs on a daily basis.

The art of making ones life hell, and causing misery.

Its addictive

Like a drug-heads own personal bag of heroine.

The harsh, exact opposite of making things better.

The minds marijuana

in which it “needs” everyday.

Its better to know nothing.

But they spread, like a common staph infection that cant be treated.

Its as if were a bunch of pathetic bees

Looking for our daily serving of honey.

Is forgiveness possible?

Does it ever stop?

No.

Light

Posted: June 1, 2011 by lhsadkins in TannerA

Keep your head held high

For the desperate cries

Across the sky.

They seem alive

But their dead inside.

The foolish lies

They try to hide

But to my surprise

Their very wise.

They hide the sight

as people continue to despise.

What is the price

For living a life?

Even if

Its in the shadows of the night.

When all you have to do

Is find the light.

Too Late

Posted: March 15, 2011 by lhsadkins in TannerA

Is this how its supposed to be?

Folding myself in half, for Nothing ?

Knowing your not going to be content?

Seems as if I give but dont receive.

You dont care though, do you?

Thinking of something, someway, to make things better.

Telling myself im not giving up

I wish I was lieing.

I wish it was that easy.

I look over it, and forgive on a regular basis.

You dont care though, do you?

 

 

Words

Posted: March 15, 2011 by lhsadkins in TannerA

I sit here, and think about something to write about.

Things cross my mind, like an intersection, and in the road.

Nothing seems to work, or be “strong” enough.

It goes from music, to every day life.

Nothing keeps me content, or occupied for that matter.

It seems so much easier to forget about things, so care-free.

The solution to everything is screaming, and throwing things.

No sorrow or anger shows, which lurks inside me on a daily basis.

Which makes things ten times worse.

I chew on these nails, as my mind wonders off to another planet.

As things seem to get better, it gets worse as the clock ticks.

I dont write poems, I dont write at all, and I hate it.

Which makes me more angry, and the teacher, who doesnt care too much for me, doesnt help.

I get a good idea, then as it gets better, its as if it walks out of my mind.

Just blunt, honest words and whatever seems to jet across my mind.

Not well-thought poetry, that ive put a lot of thought into.

So dont call it anything of the such, or good writing for that matter.

Im me.

Depression

Posted: March 15, 2011 by lhsadkins in TannerA

What do you do when you’re depressed?

When ther’es nobody to hold onto

When everybody you thought was with you, seems against you

What do you do?

Keep trying to “fit in?”

When your best friend turns to your enemy

When they start telling you what to do, and how things are going to be

Do you take their advice?

Or just forget such offending words even crossed their lips

When does it change?

When do things change to something different?

Never?

Do you give up?

Do you stand tall?

Its your choice.

Secrets

Posted: March 7, 2011 by lhsadkins in TannerA

A word that makes normal people go insane

A bad habit, that is happening somewhere on every second of the day

The cause of suicide, the cause of loss of friendship

A thing that is helpful to all the cowards, which gives them something to talk about because they cant say it loudly.

Its addictive, like a drug

The minds own personal heroine

The opposite of making things better, the opposite of happiness

Some wouldn’t rather NOT know, instead of worrying about what people are going to say about them today

If there’s something to say, why whisper it to other people?

Why not say it loudly?

Trust nobody.

Its My Life

Posted: December 3, 2010 by lhsadkins in TannerA

I’ve set here, through everything.

Through all of the insults, through the stereotypes,

through every little comment that people decide they have the need to say.

Even when it’s none of their business.

Life is made up of choices,

i’m going to make mine by myself.

With no care about what people think,

with no respect at all for those who think they deserve a spot in my business.

With no respect for those who care about nobody but themselves,

and those who think they’re the best thing since toilet paper.

I’m content with my life,

the last thing I need is somebody judging me by the way I dress.

Or the way I look.

I live MY life. ill live it how I want to.

Not how everybody else wants me to.

I show no agony, no sorrow.

Nothing that gives them a sign that their getting what they want.

Even if the true feeling, inside me, is EXACTLY what they want.

I always seem to find better ways to pretend.

There You Were

Posted: December 1, 2010 by lhsadkins in TannerA

There you were

Sitting with him while you were supposed to be with me.

Stuck up is an understatement.

After every word, you smile and laugh,

with your white teeth and your loads of make-up.

With your gorgeous hair that takes you three and a half hours to fix.

With your two-hundred dollar shirt, and your jeans with holes, paint, and god knows what else.

With your big boots covered in fur that you think are so “pretty.”

With your five-hundred dollar coach purse.

Sometimes, I just can’t stand seeing the sight of it, or you.

I’m not being harsh, or mean, I’m just stating the facts.

And you know they are completely 100% true.

The anger and depression is sometimes so bad that its unexplainable.

It’s like a worm, or a living creature inside my body,

and it keeps moving and squirming, and I cant get it out.

It’s just there, and its annoying and aggravating.

I lose sleep, I gain depression, I make a monster.

YOU make a monster.

It’s all on you, everything.

I refuse to deal with it, I refuse to drive myself crazy over you.

I guess your “love,” is another word for misery.

Everybody Dreams

Posted: December 1, 2010 by lhsadkins in TannerA

He dreams about things getting better.

He dreams about getting his friends back.

He wants to have fun like all the other kids.

Every time he tries, there is something or somebody holding him back.

Its like a door that’s impossible to unlock.

He tries his hardest to get there, but when he does he gets put right back where he started.

Kids call him fat, big’n, and other names that can’t be written on this paper.

He tries to ignore it, but all his anger bursts out every time somebody says something.

Which doesn’t make anything better at all.

First he is quiet, he is holding it in and thinks its all going ok.

Then, all the sudden, he just goes crazy because of his anger issues.

There is nothing he can do except for what hes been doing, try to overcome it.

I don’t blame him at all for acting like this toward people that talk to him like that, and act like that towards him.

He tries to fit in, he tries to be “cool,” but nobody gives him a chance.

Nightmare

Posted: October 10, 2010 by lhsadkins in TannerA, Uncategorized

I lay here, alone.

Wondering when this misery is going to end

Wondering how it began.

Its chasing me, I have no clue why, or what, or how

I see the darkness, I fear the darkness.

This creature has no fear, no care in what is going on

The only thing it wants, is to get me, and to be honest

There is no escape, no way to get away from this entity

I think to my best ability

Nothing seems like it will work, nothing will seize this creature

And as I lay, I begin to think of all the negative things

As if I am already done for

Then, right out of no where, like an electric shock

A boost of energy and confidence just bursted into my mind

Would you give up?

Or would you stand right back up, tall and proud

With your head held high, as people watch in amazement

Not worrying about whats going to happen

All you know is, you did your part in the world

You stood tall, and fought through all the threats and put downs

Through the name calling and the disrespectful people that walk these grounds

All you know is, you lived your life.

My Color

Posted: September 15, 2010 by lhsadkins in TannerA

A part of me is Fire Red

No regrets or worries

Ready to take on anything

No sense of fear anywhere inside my body

Confident about anything and everything

Not caring about anything people say

Living life and loving it

But inside, there’s a whole other part,

Other times I am black, secretly and quiet

Sneaky and up to no good

Worrying about anything possible

No attempt in trying to cheer up, only anger

But, all at the same time, there’s another color

Perfect blue, kicked back and relaxed

No care in the world, just me, myself, and I

Me and the chair under my body

Taking every right path, no wrong turns

Just laziness, taking on anything that comes in sight.

I Am From

Posted: September 14, 2010 by lhsadkins in TannerA

Tanner Adkins

I am from never ending days

From leaves in the spring to leaves in the summer

And the big oak tree above my house.

I am from the dead grass in front of my yard.

From the tall grass behind my house

And the big hill that leads to my deck.

I am from the steep stairs leading to my room.

From the bed in the left corner

I am from west Virginia

Wild and wonderful.

From the brown leaves on all the trees

Combing with the mountains you pass every day.

I am from home.