How can I forgive myself?
I am wounded and broken.
But I’ll manage to keep going.
The wound was finally healing.
Then someone ripped it open,
Put salt in it
And watched me suffer.
How can someone do that?
It hurts a lot.
But I’ll stay quiet
And keep to myself
So that I can let the wound heal again
But hopefully for good.
Gabrielle D. Townsend
It ends in the kill…
Or so he thought…
He tried to kill her soul…
But she wouldn’t let him…
She was strong…
He wasn’t strong enough to break her heart…
Instead she broke his heart…
She watched him suffer…
She still smiled as he begged her to stop…
He started praying that he would become strong…
Strong enough to fight back…
She didn’t notice that…
That each day she became weaker…
He noticed it though…
And took advantage of her weakness…
He destroyed her soul…
He destroyed her dreams…
He destroyed her courage…
He destroyed her pride…
He broke her heart…
Her world shattered into a million pieces…
So it ends in the kill…
Gabrielle D. Townsend
They stood there listening to the radio.
They thought everyone was out of the building.
They heard screaming from the second flood.
They slipped on the air-packs and left their accountability tags with the engine man.
They ran into the house not caring that the flames was rolling over their heads.
All they wanted was to get the person out of the building.
The leader dropped to his knees and started to crawl.
He made sure to keep in contact with the wall as he did a search.
They found the steps and crawled up the steps.
The second person knew this house like the back of her hand.
She grew up in this house.
She grabbed the leader’s ankle as they crawled up the steps to the second floor.
She looked up at the fire and wondered how something so beautiful could destroy everything so easily.
She watched it till the leader asked her if everything was okay.
She replied yes and kept crawling.
It seemed like forever but it was only minutes before they was crouching in front of a door.
The leader wasn’t scared but she was…
She heard creaking of the floor and roof.
She watched her partner go into the room that had the victim.
She followed close behind him trying not to be scared of what she would see.
They heard the person screaming it was just a little kid.
The leader dropped back and allowed her to go forward to find the kid.
She searched all over and found the little boy.
She clutched him close to her she took off her face piece not caring what damage the smoke and fire could do to her.
She wanted the little boy to have fresh air.
She made her way to a window and took her helmet off and broke the window.
She saw the flashing lights through the smoke.
She thought the leader was behind her.
She saw the ladder reach to the window and someone came and grabbed the boy.
They took him down the ladder carefully.
She heard something she would never forget.
She turned around in time to see the floor collapse where her partner was standing.
She screamed as it collapsed.
There was nothing anyone could do besides evacuate the building.
She didn’t want to leave but the building was collapsing.
She watched her partner’s death it will haunt her for the rest of her life.
How could she forgive herself?
She climbed out of the window with her face piece in hand.
As she made it on the ground she was afraid to look back.
She didn’t stand long her legs couldn’t handle her weight anymore.
The EMTs rushed over to her and she heard them talking to each other.
She was bleeding from her head she didn’t even realize what was happening.
The building had collapsed, she made it out of the building as it was collapsing, and the little boy had minor burns nothing major. She had to have stitches in her head and she had minor burns on her hands.
She kept a picture of her partner in her jacket she always wondered if he went to a Heaven.
She would have quit her job if it wasn’t for the fact that was her father and he always wanted to do what she loved.
She was no longer afraid of what was happening.
She would look at the picture.
She would smile as she slid it back into the pocket and ran into what everyone else feared.
Yes she watched her father die but he died doing what he loved.
She doesn’t let his death get to her anymore.
She celebrates his death not mourn it.
She was the only one that wore white at his funeral.
His death made her tough.
She lives for her father, now her kids are following in her footsteps.
They wanted to be a fire fighter just like mommy and grandpa.
Her father would be proud and she believes he is smiling from Heaven.
Gabrielle D. Townsend
When she was fourteen she believed that he would love her forever. She believed that everyone hated her because she was ugly. She believed that she was prettier because she saw all the girls wore makeup. She believed things could not turn out bad with her ‘love’. She believed that her mother was truly evil and hated her for not letting her stay with her ‘love’.
When she was fifteen she believed that her brother was never going to move out because he was a momma’s boy. She believed that nothing happened for a reason. She believed that there was no God above. She believed that would never graduate on time, she had no will to try with her school work. She believed that school was for losers and nerds that had nothing to with their time.
When she was sixteen she still believed that school was for losers and nerds that had nothing to do with their time. She believed that if her grades slipped, the officers of her fire department would kick her off. She believed that she would never make it to her senior year of high school. She believed that she wanted to be a doctor.
When she was seventeen and still is she believes that there is a God above. She believes that things happen for a reason. She believes that she will get kicked off her fire department if her grades slip. She believes that she is absolute positive that she wants to be a Flight Nurse. She believes that one day she will meet a guy that can understand her. She can’t believe she is going to graduate this year.
It all started when she met him, the sky all pretty and it was morning.
She had no clue what she was getting herself into.
She would have stayed away from him.
He had no mercy for her.
She loved him but he didn’t love her.
She never noticed the signs of him seeing another girl.
Her friends tried to tell her but all she did was shake her head in disbelief.
She was not going to believe them for anything in the world.
In the girl’s eyes he was pure and amazing, but that was all for show.
After he got what he wanted he left without ever thinking twice about his decision.
It all ended when she took the blade across her pale colored wrists.
She watched the blood drip down her fingers after she dropped the knife.
She couldn’t handle what he did to her.
So she thought it was time to end a losing battle.
She thought that nobody wanted or cared for her.
He wouldn’t even miss her.
So she ended it all…
Gabrielle D. Townsend
A new school
A new year
New friends
New teachers
New classes
She’ll be happy or so she thought
She got herself into trouble
She met a guy that was bad for her
She loved him
He grabbed her arm
And whispered words she will never forget
She put up with it for months
Without telling anyone what happened
He was not the love of her life
Her unborn son was
One terrible accident
That he caused
He pushed her down the stairs
That terrible accident caused her to lose her unborn son
She left him for the better of herself
Her memories haunt her
Certain things are just about impossible to swallow
Gabrielle D. Townsend
All the memories
From playing Hide n Seek with Eric
To crying over Jonathan
That’s just it
They are memories now
They can no longer be real
They must stay in my memory
Some good
Like getting an award my freshman year
Some bad
Like arguing with my parents for the first time
Some sad
Like my grandfather dying
Some happy
Like seeing my niece for the first time
Some with my best friend
Like being at East Lynn with Chelsea
Some funny
Like Chelsea having barbecue sauce all over her face
They are all part of my memory
That is where they will stay
-Gabrielle D. Townsend
Walking me to the bus.
Holding me when I was depressed.
He reassured me that everything will be okay.
He smiled when I was happy again.
All it took was one girl to come between us.
To tear us apart.
To tear us apart.
To make the green monster attack.
He tried to get me to forget that he lied to my face,
How can I forget that?
I see what he really is now.
But how did I fall for that kind of person?
-Gabrielle D. Townsend
Lies
Shouts
Heartbreak
Apologizes
Hugs
Kisses
Happiness
Repeat
It is all the same routine
Why won’t things change?
I wish they would
It would be nice
Shouting senior
Screaming the loudest
Cheering on our class
Dancing in the bleachers
Taking pictures
Laughing at stupid things
Being happy that we’re out of class
Winning Battle of the Classes for the first time
Holding the trophy
Taking a victory lap
Good memories
We will miss them
-Gabrielle D. Townsend
I remember playing out in the yard with Eric.
I remember screaming because there was a bug.
I remember the house I lived in.
I remember my Dad telling me that we were moving to West Virginia.
I remember me crying because I didn’t want to leave.
I remember Dad packing our stuff.
I remember Eric trying to talk Dad out of us moving.
I remember Dad telling him no.
I remember our old house.
I remember all the memories I have there.
I remember what seemed like hours to arrive to our new home.
I remember walking into the new house it wasn’t the same.
I remember crying over missing my home.
I remember Dad telling me that I would like it here.
I remember liking West Virginia after meeting some kids my age.
I remember looking at the kids like they were crazy because of their accents.
I remember my home and I miss it but I wouldn’t move back now.
-Gabrielle D. Townsend
If I were rain
I’d pour down
All over the houses
I’d stop pouring so it wouldn’t flood
Watching the kids dance in the rain
Smiling as the young couple kiss while I rain
I’d stop as I see the kids having a mud fight
I lightly sprinkle
So my buddy the rainbow will come out
Most days I’m fiery red
Brave and energetic
Hardworking and feisty
Getting mad easily at those who annoy me
But other days I’m pitch black
Mysterious but not scary
Sad and Depressed
Mourning my loved ones
Today I’m fiery red
-Gabrielle D. Townsend
Everyone stands alone at the heart of this earth
Counting the red stars and those of plum color
Some dazzling vision of the past
His death hurt no one
So on a certain day soft grey ghosts crawl up my sleeve; unhappy and at home
Muddy passages
When will I see the sun? Other options are closes
Through the crack I see, they have betrayed you
They’ll pass by beating to the rhythm of blood
I met a man once who had wasted his life: The author of the dream
Oh, send me books with happy endings
Wouldn’t that be a happy moment?
Even if the hours bent back on themselves
They could not chose
Telling tales of long ago, some will still manage to go on
Rescue the dead
Far in the east there is a dark cloud that makes it look like it’s going to rain but when the cloud moves this way it doesn’t shower raindrops, it showers Skittles instead. I was happy to see it raining Skittles but in this dream I walked in the Skittle rain and the background changed.
I know the things I lost when I was a kid, I now remember. I want those things to be found but I know that they are lost till they can be found but I want someone less fortunate to find them.
She fears him; she can’t say anything to him. She wants it to be not real she wishes that it is all a dream but it’s far from a dream. She wishes she never met him she wants to take back what he did to her. She now sits there afraid to speak, afraid to move, afraid to tell anyone. She has dry dreams of what she wishes would happen to him but when she wakes he is still there.
I would not be writing these lines if I wasn’t into writing things or be a senior getting ready for graduation. We will have a celebration when May 27, 2011 comes because we will be done with high school but some of us might cry because it means we can’t be kids anymore.
A few strokes of ink are all I need to get something on this paper to start my writing or to end it.
