I remember the excitement in my eyes
as I ran back and forth waiting for mom to pick me up.
I remember their eyes full of pity
which at that time I couldn’t decipher.
I remember the cold silence in the car ride home
not even a single word spoken.
I remember the awkwardness as I kept questioning my mother
I remember going on with, “How is she?” and “How long can I stay?”
I remember her not having any answers for any of my questions.
I remember the first tear that rolled down my mothers cheek,
The one that I walked over and gently rubbed her face to ask what was wrong.
I remember watching her lips tremble
as she began to tell me that mawmaw wasn’t in pain anymore.
I remember feeling confused,
because wasn’t that a good thing?
I remember the moment that everything clicked,
The moment I fell apart.
I remember the pain of someone reaching in my chest,
grabbing my heart,
and tearing it straight down the middle.
I remember the tears that rolled down my face as if it was just yesterday
The tears that still occasionally fall
I remember her as if she were still here
Because she is here
Watching over me from heaven.