Day Wishes

Saltwater threats me with eternity

It burns my eyes and my heart

My arms are pushing

I’m trying to push forward

My feet are kicking

Everything inside of me is screaming

These memories are killing me

I can see the surface

I can see the air

I’m just having trouble getting there

Tears

A puppy’s tears have

Brothers and sisters they’ll miss forever,

A butterflies have

Harsh rain.

A giraffe,

Tall trees.

A whales tears

Have sand in them.

Mine have closed doors

And phone calls

And yours

Have loud words.

My Happy Tree

Happy, it’s been a long time

Since I’ve seen you last.

I hope your leaves are

Still fresh and green;

I hope your branches have grown strong.

When I left you,

You were young like I was.

I hope my secrets are still

locked within your trunk.

I hope you can still feel

My hands and feet

Trying to climb to your canopy.

Happy, I’m sorry I left you there,

With mom and dad.

You’re the last thing I remember seeing

After the car was rolling and I was leaving.

I’ll miss you forever, happy,

I hope you miss me too.

Mother

This tragedy is like no other,

My road is bound by the

Rails of dark reason.

Icy visions from the past

Reply for the future.

Something was lost,

Yet nothing was found.

Unhappy and at home

Like a fly to my mother.

She opened the door and

Smacked me out.

I was free as the wind

Free to stay in everyone’s home.

Her ghost lingers with me,

So I never really feel alone.

There’s is some comfort in believing that

But in our hearts we know

We are all inevitably alone.

Rain

Rain has a way for forcing me to sleep.

Maybe it’s the soft lull of sounds

Coming together, creating a symphony.

Plops of little drops in standing puddles,

Pitter-pats of rain on glass,

All in a relaxing harmony.

Cool, blue light that covers everything

And a degree or so cooler

Comfort me more than my eyes can stand.

Soon I am cocooned in my blankets

Fast asleep, all because of the rain.

What She Expects

She wants me to be

Just like everyone else

To take up the habits every one else has

All the other women in my family are identical

So why wouldn’t I act just like them

But maybe she doesn’t really want that

Maybe she just expects it

 

I couldn’t dye my hair

Any different way

Or shop at any different place

Or bring home straight A’s

She will always think the same

 

Individually is dead, I guess

Birds of a feather

Flock together

And there I stand on two feet

With two hands

And one single mind that

Only works for me.

Pompeii

Air flowing through my canopy,

I rest my gaze upon the sea.

Citizens with crows atop their heads,

Have no idea they’ll soon be dead.

 

Myrtle and Laurel litter the grounds:

The finest fragrances to be found.

Children playing with toys of plush,

Everything will soon be crushed.

 

Happiness in streets as fine as gold,

Citizens chattering with stories untold.

Pompeian’s now basking in the sun,

Their lives will soon be undone.

 

In the blink of an eye

Children watch their mothers die.

Exotic animals run and dash,

Only to be choked on falling ash.

 

My bark, once twisting and turning,

Is alive with a painful burning.

My leaves and olives unnerved,

The city of Pompeii becomes preserved.

A Place

I’m looking for a place
Where no one knows my name.
I’ll forget you everyday
And the past stays in the past.

I’m looking for a place
That I will make own.
I’ll be happy and have people,
People I can count on.

I’m looking for a beautiful place
Where I don’t worry
And you will not bring me down,
I won’t let you.

I’m looking for a faraway place
Nothing behind me will matter,
I will only look forward
And you will never make me unhappy.

When I Was Young

When I  was young in the house I sat by the door with Jesse

waiting, everyday, on my dad to come home from work.

He smelled like a strong man and laughed as we grabbed his legs;

Mom ignored us because she was jealous.

When I was young in the house I sat by the kitchen window.

I leaned against it and watched all our cats roam around;

I tried to look at other people and places but I was too far away.

When I was young in the house I slept on my mamaw’s couch.

It was hard to fall asleep but I had to,

there was a new school to attend the next day.

Her bathroom always smelled like aged makeup, and floor cleaner.

I was then tall enough to see myself in mirror.

When I was young in the house I ran off the bus everyday in order to be safe.

I jumped on the porch, with its blue chipping paint falling off as the wind blows.

Mom and mamaw would sometimes wait to see me come in the door.

When I was young in the house I wouldn’t unpack my things.

I never knew what the next day was going to bring;

mom was there less and less.

It was hard to decide where to go until I no longer had a choice.

When I was young in the house I had to make the best of it,

If I didn’t I would cause a problem.

Sometimes it worked out that way, there was always a problem.

It was winter, and I had to move one last time;

the people are cold like the air and hard like the frozen dirt.

I Remember

I remember loafing on my porch

I remember cigarette smoke surrounding everything

I remember going to mamaw’s house because we had no food

and I remember baking cakes with her.

I remember arriving home and listening to my dad play guitar

I remember going to school and working my hardest

I remember watching over Jesse because he was so small

and I remember my mom having DJ.

I remember exciting birthday parties, family pictures, and presents

I remember the best food at granny’s house

and I remember my parents were there.

I remember thinking and dreaming in impossibilities

I remember each foster home

and I remember realizing how different everyone is.

I remember arguing with everyone

I remember trying too hard to grow up

but I don’t remember when I  lost the part of me that made those things important.