Bitter sweet memories..

Posted: December 3, 2010 by melissa2012 in MelissaH

You lay underneath the cold, dark earth.

Rotting in your own little box.

You’ve been there for two years now.

Sometimes it’s hard for me to think about how the body that I used to hug and the person that I used to look at is now turning deep shades of purple and green and slowly falling apart.

I wish that I could look in your eyes, but I know that they are probably wasting away and gone. No more a beautiful ocean blue.

I want to call you, but I know that you won’t be there to answer me.

I want to feel you near me. Your spirit. Anything.

I remember when you used to come visit me. I would feel your spirit around me and it made my heart warm and fuzzy.

When I go to your grave I get a knot in my throat and I began to choke on it silently.

I always tried to keep the tears inside as I watched your grave get smaller and smaller as I drove away from it.

I remember the night that you left me. It was two in the morning.

I came home and I remember my sister telling me that you died.

I felt tears falling from my face and onto my hand.

The knot is forming again.

I remember your wake. You didn’t look much different. Except for the fact that you were white instead of a healthy pinkish color.

That night when I went home, I dreaded to get up the next day and go to your funeral.

When the time finally came I was ready and strong. So I thought.

I remember the sad song that they played. I stared at the floor the entire time. I was afraid that if I moved I would burst into tears.

I thought to myself that if they played one more song I wouldn’t be able to make it.

My sister said something to me at the wake that helped me get through it. She said that that wasn’t really you. It was just the shell of your body that your beautiful soul occupied.

I looked around the room to see everyone crying. I was the only one who wasn’t.

When it was our turn to say goodbye to you, I realized that that was the last time that I would ever see you. To see your sweet  face.

The last part of the funeral was when some people lowered your body deep into the ground. I can’t remember who it was.

Now I sit here alive and well while you are hopefully in Heaven having fun with papaw.

And again the knot is forming..

Some things are just about impossible to swallow.

  1. Joe Huff says:

    Very powerful poetry.

  2. brittany1795 says:

    Melissa…this poem is perfect. I love the imagery, and all the emotion you put into it. It literally made me cry in class..

  3. Mr. Williamson says:

    Very well written!!