Cracks in the Floodwall

Posted: March 24, 2008 by Autumn in Autumn

Deflecting low blows, she is a breathing barricade—iron and steel, ever holding up in the face of adversity. Why doesn’t she falter? Because she can’t. Words fall on her, sink in like leaden weights determined to extinguish her spirit. She has many moments of weakness. She’s indecisive. She thinks back, ponders past decisions. Ponders the path she’s currently on. Are her strides sure enough to carry her where she wants to go? Oh, but she doesn’t run, she hides. Her fortress keeps her safe, keeps her distant. She always attempts to find a silver lining, but sometimes it’s so hard to see a glint in the endless grey in that metallic-tasting life she leads atop the tower. Her eyes are the only windows to the world she cares to peer out of. Every time a sympathetic soul offers a ladder for her to climb down, she grasps the handrails, desiring nothing more than to descend…but she ultimately denies the aid she so craves, every single time. The ladder goes clattering back to the earth in a cloud of dust and apologies. You see, she has to preserve her life the way it is, as cold and withdrawn as it may seem, because the only thing that feels right in her silent, clinical, private life…is wrong.

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