PenTherapy

You can be extravagant and excellent

Magnificent and beautiful 

You can be obedient and loyal

Peaceful and polite 

But you are not

and can you be a   

 Sadistic

Controversial

Non-conforming

Debating

Liberal 

It all ends in the kill

because you cannot be

what you want to be

and still be their “baby” 

However, if you choose to be

what you cannot be

you will be respected

Je t’aime

You say it

I sigh

My heart quivers more 

Je t’aime

You show it

I weep

My soul shines more brightly than before 

Je t’aime

You repeat it as

You turn away from me 

Maybe

Just maybe

I should have said

Je t’aime plus

I was born at the height of chaos in my mother’s life. 10 month and 8 days after my sister was born. I adore romanctism and independent music with all my heart, and splurge on it. My favorite shirt has holes in it, with a rather large one in the left shoulder, but it’s most comfortable so I love it anyhow. I’ve lied to my parents, but more importantly, I have lied to myself. I’m an introverted nerd whose helpfulness and compassion have been abused too many times; I seek no pity, though. I respect nature, but not enough to stop polluting it; this makes me a hypocrite. I like to say I’m independent, but I still like to crawl on my mommy’s bed and watch television with her. I’m nice to someone I no long like nor respect for a friend’s happiness. I’m a good person in my heart. In my heart, I want to find a good person…..

She tried dying her hair.

She tried contacts.

She tried fashionable clothing.

She tried to make perfect grades.She tried to make her parents happy.

She tried to have the perfect life.

The perfect façade.

She tried to fit in.  

But deep inside,

She really just wanted to try and be herself.

So, she tried to do just that instead.

Ontz Ontz Ontz

I see them enter, and yet, I don’t.

Ontz Ontz Ontz

I see them trying to gather my attention, and yet, I don’t.

Ontz Ontz Ontz

I see their mouths moving, and yet, I hear no words.

Ontz Ontz Ontz

Shaking me now.

Their touch on my shoulder, my attention slipping from that blissful

Ontz Ontz Ontz

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Lindsey:

Write an ironic ending to this to-do

        I always try to tell myself that things I need to hear, but I can’t always do that and sometimes I don’t even know what I want to hear. It would be wonderful for somebody to tell me all the sweet things, to reassure me and my confidence, but there is no one and I understand that I can only really rely on myself. If I don’t believe that I’m lovely, smart, or whatever else, then I need to teach myself to believe these things, or to at least to make myself so that they are true. I don’t think that anyone can really tell us anything we wouldn’t really rather tell ourselves anyway.

It seems that some days I can never cheer her up. It is depression? School? Family? Friends? I just want to see her happy; my best friend.Pessimistic maybe or just low-self esteem but she’s always so sad it seems to me.When she smiles, it’s like an angel sharing its light with the world.In that baby-doll face and those dark green eyes, mysteries lie within that smile.But she doesn’t. She doesn’t smile and she keeps crying, crying and I can’t help.So I cry too, because her misery and her silence tear at my heart.The only thing that could make me cry more Is if she smiled.