PenTherapy

You thought you’d always have it;

            it would always be there.

    You were wrong.

You remember its gifts,

                  its wonderful surprises,

            its twists and turns.

You remember its harsh lessons,

     its brutal trials,

            its enlightening experiences.

Without it, you feel nothing like you used to.

Your disposition is a day in October;

            warm and sunny one minute,
   cold and bitter the next.

You want so much to be back on that rollercoaster ride;

            to feel the winds of love and laughter surround you once again.

Some lose it quickly,

                     some hold on to it for dear life.

Those who have it take it for granted,

    neglecting to savor every last drop.

Those without it can only dream of its beauty.

You tried to hold on,

                 but now you’ve realized your childhood is gone.

I was born right when I was supposed to be. I went to school and was very quiet. I got in trouble for coloring in circles and helping a boy glue eyes on his gingerbread man. I stayed at my grandma’s house every chance I got so I could play with my cousin. My grandma took us to the pool, to the park, to Ohio and back. She never made us wear our seatbelts. I moved to Michigan when I was 10 because my dad got a new job. I didn’t like it there at first, but the seven months of winter grew on me. I was uprooted again when I was 14 – we were moving back to West Virginia. Mom said it was because everything was too expensive in Michigan – I think it was because she missed her dad. I cried and cried the day we left our house in Grand Blanc. Now I’m here; not happy, but content. I don’t plan on staying much longer…

You thought you’d always have it;

            it would always be there.

    You were wrong.

You remember its gifts,

                  its wonderful surprises,

            its twists and turns.

You remember its harsh lessons,

     its brutal trials,

            its enlightening experiences.

Without it, you feel nothing like you used to.

You’re like a day in October;

            warm and sunny one minute,
   cold and bitter the next.

You want so much to be back on that rollercoaster ride;

            to feel the winds of love and laughter surround you once again.

Some lose it quickly,

                     some hold on to it for dear life.

Those who have it take it for granted,

    neglecting to savor every last drop.

Those without it can only dream of its beauty.

You tried to hold on,

                 but now you’ve realized your childhood is gone.

my place of peace is

          just me,

                   alone.

no cares

distractions

worries.

          just me,

                   alone.

the rain whispers in my ear.

politely pattering against my window pane

          the occasional rumble of thunder,

          low, powerful;

          the heartbeat of the earth.

deep, cleansing breaths

relieve my mind of heavy burdens

                   japanese cherry blossoms let their fragrance

                   consume the room.

          just me,

                   alone.

my eyes open,

my mind closed.

silently dreaming of a world that doesn’t exist to anyone else.

          just me.

Peace to you, passing cars,

gliding loudly past the window.

Your engines humming noisily –

allowing all to know you are near.

Peace to you, simple room,

          encompassing me in your sturdy walls.

          Grey and bleak, they keep me safe from the world outside.

          Trapping the heat when I feel no warmth.

A blessing on the bed,

          untouched and unorganized.

          Blankets scattered as leaves.

          Your welcoming softness brings security to my mind and soul.

A blessing on all the clutter.

          from the overage of furniture

          to the clothes on the floor.

          You define me.

A blessing on the music player,

          relieving my stress with the sounds of Mozart and Beethoven.

          Keeping me sane for one more day

A blessing on the air freshener,

          quietly dispersing fragrances of flowers that flow through the room.

A blessing on my room.

Be forever peaceful

                             in your warmth and comfort.