PenTherapy

Why

Is it always me

Who gets stuck in these

Situations I can’t find

Ammo or grenades monsters

Keep following and I

Can’t find my partner he’s

Probably doing better than

Me I think something brushed

My leg and I still have no

Ammo maybe this flash bang

Would work oh my gosh

It did legs move faster

Almost to the door the

Door slams shut behind

me and all I hear is

“Isn’t this one big family reunion?”

Why do I feel as if my nightmare has just begun?

I have a heart that can be broken 
So I’ll guard it like a precious jewel.

No one will get through my rock hard shell.

No one will shatter this jewel to pieces.

But then you come along and put on a charade.

You get my barriers down with cute little lines and I unfortunately fall.

Fall deep.

Fall hard.

Fall fast.

I thought I was smart when I gave you that heart-cut jewel.

 You even put on a good act for three months.

And then you broke it.

Shattered it.

Destroyed it.

It felt like a knife had cut me as I stared at the pieces on the floor.

 Then you walked away and I cried for awhile.

 Not for you, but to myself for being so stupid as to trust you.

Now over 365 days have gone by and I finished repairing my jewel.

 But one thing is missing.

 The shard you took with you.

In mornings

You’ll find me there

Groaning as I’m made to get up.

In evenings

You’ll see me there

Laughing at every little thing.

Sometimes, you’ll see me there in the middle of the day.

Just laying and sleeping

Resting my sick head.

This place is my room

And to me it’s neat.

It has all the little secrets I like to keep.

If the walls could talk

They would tell you a tale

About all the things that go on in my lair.

From sitting and laughing

Jumping and cheering

Crying and yelling

To being startled and screaming.

So many emotions lie trapped in four walls.

A skeleton or two remain locked in the closet.

Ten years of memories stay shut up tight

In case I want to remember the good

The bad

And the extremely ugly.

But no matter what

I think it’s plain to see.

My room is the most special sacred place

To me.

Remember when you were five years old and everything in the world seemed like rainbows and lollipops?

When you could come home and be greeted by a loving Mom and a tired Dad when he got home from work.

You and your mother would play for hours

Just sitting and laughing

And as you grew older and bigger she taught you life lessons, like she’s supposed to.

Then you turned thirteen and your rainbow world fell apart.

You went to sleep like any other night and woke up to Dad telling you she had gone out the door.

You cried for awhile along with your dad and soon tried to find the strength to dry those tears, more for him than for yourself.

As time went on, she tried to talk to you and make you understand and with each passing conversation you finally got to the point where you couldn’t say, “I love you too.”

Now here you are at sixteen, a smiling teen who puts it all in the back of her mind.

You try to be the best daughter you can be to a father who has tried and failed to be both.

And every time you feel like you feel like giving up, you think of the day she left and find the strength to keep going.

Because you know that you don’t want to leave something you love or cherish deeply behind.

Childhood is running and screaming on the playground.

Childhood is staying up late with your older brother playing Zelda.

Childhood is playing Yugioh during break time.

Childhood is hiding behind someone when a snake pops out.

Childhood is hanging out with kids you won’t hang out with later on.

Childhood is being strangers one moment and best friends the next.

Childhood is playing with a pet you don’t know you won’t have later.

Childhood is waking up at six in the morning on Christmas and trying to wake your parents up.

Childhood is eating chocolate even when you know you’ll get in trouble.

And

Childhood is being so tired that you can’t keep your eyes open while Dad carries you off to bed.